Exactly What I Said

A secretary had made a few alterations in a letter which her boss had dictated, and he was furious! 'You're not paid to correct my work,' he fumed. 'Just type out exactly what I said — exactly as I said it! Do you understand?' The secretary left without a word and the next letter she brought in for signature read as follows:

Dear Mr Smythe — spell that with a y and an e on the end - the fool thinks it looks more impressive!

In response to your letter of the ... what is it ... oh, look up the date yourself. We can offer you a price of... Jim, how much can we screw out of old Smythe on that machine tool order? £50,000? OK, we'll make it £75,000. Got that? That's a new dress isn't it? Very nice. A bit revealing but who's grumbling? Where was I? Oh, yes - if this price is acceptable, please let us know within seven days. A deposit of £25,000 will be required to secure the contract - no, make it £30,000 -I don't trust him - he's the biggest crook in the business.

Yours sincerely, etc., etc., the usual guff. Now then, where's my coffee?

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